I Could Do Better

I see what passes for entertainment on television and movies and can't help but feel I could do better; but then realized it'd probably would never air.   Because it'd be too good and executives and marketing department would fuck it up.  Because usually it isn't the script writer's fault a show sucks it's all that third party interference; although sometimes the script writers are hacks that don't know shit.   But not always XD.   

If anyone who reads this is curious about my writing I have a blog that highlights my projects and you can also check some old things out on my DA account her ------>  My DA Writings

Sinking or Dangling in the Quicksand

I just feel like no matter my endeavors I am making no progress on any front.  I feel as though I'm sinking in quicksand and no matter what I do things only seem to get worse for me.    I am tired of my job jerking me around saying they're going to move into a new department only to send me back to the same sucky ass bottom of the totem poll position, and sick of seeing other people move ahead while I'm stuck in the exact same spot every year; only each year it feels like I'm worse off, hence the quicksand reference.   I just don't find fulfillment in my job.    I can't take the banality of it and my life anymore; but I don't know what else to do.   I'm tired of everyone else being able to get away with shit that I can't at work as well.   I'm tired of working this job. I'm tired of walking home 3 miles everyday and walking there 3 miles everyday to go to a job that doesn't pay near enough and that I detest, and not getting my proper breaks, if at all.   I'm just tired of it all and I keep looking for other places to work; but keep coming up empty, and it makes it even harder since I don't have a car and pretty soon I'm going to have to deal with a lot more bills on my own since after this month I'm not going to have anyone helping me with them anymore.  Just don't know what to do except to just accept it and keep sinking into this quick sand that is my life. 

I'm tired of pomp-ass, dumb-ass managers who when they spot a problem believe the best solution is throw the problem on someone else rather then dealing with it themselves.  I'm tired of that stupid societal question of "how are you?"  People don't really care when they ask that.   If I told how I was doing and felt to a customer it'd probably get me fired.  And I'm tired having to force this fake sincerity and caring, so I'm at least going to stop that.  I hate the mask I have to wear at work, I just want to be alittle more myself and a little less this stranger I pretend to be at work.